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Seeking to be a better person – of course, it’s human nature. As we pursue growth, there may be days when we feel like nothing changes within ourselves, and being on that plateau surely feels aggravating. Thankfully, on other days, it feels like we’re reborn with new inspiration.
Want to push yourself more and be a better version of yourself?
In this post, I’ve listed down the things I’ve realized that will help us develop our body, intellect, and judgment.
Ready? Here we go!
13 Valuable Tips To Become a Better Version of Yourself
1. Find your true strengths.
Our true strengths aren’t simply the skills and abilities we have accumulated over the years.
You see, there’s a difference between “being good at it” and “winning with your true strengths.” From my experience, being a jack of all trades doesn’t mean all those skills were my core gifts. Worse, those huge range of hobbies and interests confused me to follow multiple paths which made me blind to my true purpose.
Rather, your true talents are a core gift that brings you fulfilment and purpose.
What are you really good at? Think of the activities you felt most alive and engaged in, even without rewards, money, and recognition. What hobbies were you doing nonstop that even your family and friends couldn’t stop you from diving deep into that craft?
Remember these moments. These often provide clues to your core strengths and passions.
Another clue in finding your true strengths is that you effortlessly win at it. Over the years, I found that I have a love-hate relationship with writing, self-reflecting, and teaching people. Sometimes, I get burnt out, but I find myself still coming back for more.
What’s yours?
When you’re operating from a place of authenticity, you’ll find that the work doesn’t feel like a chore; it feels like a natural extension of who you are.
2. Always broaden your perspectives.
The person who has wisdom has great self-control. They pause, take their time to process, and then accept or disagree with the proposition presented. Meanwhile, a person with a narrow perspective is quick to pass judgment and tends to be more aggressive.
I often reach out to my father to discuss philosophical and management-related topics. The younger me would communicate attentively. But once we disagreed, my voice tended to raise an octave higher with evident disappointment and anger. But on the other hand, my father would pause and keep presenting me with perspectives. He’s a patient, knowledgeable father.
But heck, I’d be sneering. I’m mad my father didn’t understand my point.
Now, I’ve understood why I was so angry. Turns out, some perspectives can take a while to sink into people when our viewpoint about the subject is limited. Thus, one way to improve ourselves is to always expand our knowledge, experience, and wisdom.
Here some ways to do it:
- Books! (I’m currently reading “Ideal Life” by Henry Drummond. It’s been great so far!)
- Tuning in to podcasts, interviews, and debates
- Enrolling in short practical courses
- Travel and experiencing cultures!
- Alone time and self-reflections
- Interactions with friends, families, and meeting new people
- Being out there and joining communities and participating in activities.
3. Be a doer.
Actions speak louder than words – and I’m not saying this for the benefit of others. Instead, when we actually work and move, it is us who benefit the most.
Our experiences are more impactful than having leashed visions that were never actualized.
Always prioritize movement because, most of the time, the feelings of stagnation cause us to be stuck in our heads, leading to overthinking, and even anxiety.
I mentioned earlier to broaden our perspective – our mind. Now, let’s broaden our actions – be a doer.
You don’t always have to perform monumental plans. Whether completing household chores, progressing on personal projects, or nurturing relationships with loved ones, strive to end each day with a sense of accomplishment and fulfilment.
When you see yourself stuck in your mind, snap out of it and think, “what did I do today?”
Movement and jobs make men feel fulfilled. You may argue how your job sucks and such, however, not that fulfilling a purpose is better than being stuck in stagnation.
Be a doer. Just move.
4. Be healthy and more physically active.
Falling into a sedentary life is one of my regrets. Ugh, I miss the 20-year-old me who could carry Inline 4 engine heads and walk a few meters from Station 1 to Station 2 in our workplace (because I worked in an auto repair shop).
Now, I’ve grown weaker and fragile – my asthma has become active, and my knees? Oh, my knees feel like they’ll unhinge with one wrong move. (Oh, they already did twice. *sobs*) And I’m only turning 28!
Although I consider myself a doer in actualizing plans, I lacked exercise, which is pretty regrettable.
Lesson learned: Prioritize movement both in plans and physical exercise.
Now, I move around, allot time to jog, exercise, and play badminton. I feel so much better and my flexibility’s recovering!
Some communities set up fun runs. We can engage in sports like badminton or tennis, hit the gym, or simply walk or jog around the neighborhood.
Prioritize whole foods over ultra-processed options. Make conscious choices about what we put on our plates.
I must say that being a better version of ourselves starts with caring for our body, or else we can’t do anything. Had to learn this the hard way.
5. Learn your boundaries.
You create space for authenticity and integrity in your life by setting boundaries. Can’t attend the party? Won’t be available to do a task? Let others know.
But first, to have a strong sense of boundaries, we must know what and what doesn’t align with our values. We must identify which ones we can and can’t accept and stick with that.
However, be cautious not to be too disagreeable, too.
It’s great to have a good sense of boundaries. Say no to things that don’t truly adhere to your values, but also learn to embrace new things. Experience life!
6. Do not keep a record of wrongs.
Instead of keeping a tally of our wrongs, we must learn to let go of the past and forgive ourselves for our shortcomings.
Someone wronged you? Face the problem, seek apologies, and release the burden of anger.
At other times, it’s ourselves that we start to despise. In such times, try not to wallow in self-pity. Don’t berate yourself. Neither should we bring up the mistakes we’ve committed two years ago.
Burn that mental list you’ve kept in your mind.
Failure is not the end of the road. Every setback presents an opportunity for redirection. A lesson. Rather than fearing failure, consider it a teacher, guiding our lives to a better judgment.
7. Practice true humility.
Humility doesn’t always equate to kindness. One can look kind but not really humble in heart. I was one of them.
Are you self-absorbed and extremely self-conscious? Do you think that people’s eyes are always on you?
You see, when we focus too much on ourselves, we may not notice easily, but the aftermath is building walls against other people.
Whether it’s out of fear that you’ll make mistakes and be laughed at or out of seeing yourself as morally, intellectually superior, the way we shoo people away — overtly or covertly — shows a lack of humility.
When I became a teacher, this behavior continued in my first months. I valued my reputation so much that I can’t converse normally with my students. I’ve always built walls. I don’t want them joking around with me.
Once, my students saw me outside the university, and I rushed to walk away from them. But the person I’m with reached out to them and chatted.
Fortunately, that person noticed my frustration and had the guts to tell me: “Why are you running away? Because you’re a teacher? They’re humans, too.”
I was lost for words when I heard that.
Looking back at it now, I see how I placed myself on a pedestal as if I was in a superior position. I gave myself so much value that I quickly neglected others and kept them out of my life.
Truly, I have authority as a teacher, but as human beings, we’re no better or more valuable than anyone. I was wrong there.
Now I’ve learned that true humility is acknowledging the inherent worth and dignity of every person, irrespective of their beliefs, status, and principles.
Let’s love others as much as we love ourselves.
If you’re someone who struggles with isolating and cutting people off from your life for these reasons, then working on it will absolutely make you better.
8. Be willing to ask, give, and receive.
As the saying goes:
“It’s better to give than to receive.”
Traditionally, society emphasizes the importance of giving over receiving. However, to maintain a healthy economy of kindness, these three are all important: give, receive, and ask for help.
Don’t be like me. As mentioned, I wasn’t as humble as I had imagined in the past. Aside from disliking burdening people, I disliked people asking me for help, so I stayed independent to avoid being indebted to anyone.
However, upon reflection, my reluctance to seek and give help stopped me from sharing the compassion. The “cycle of goodness” stopped with me.
That said, if we truly want to be a better version of ourselves, let’s recognize that it’s better if we’re not alone.
Give to people who lack.
Receive with joy when someone gives you something.
Ask and be not afraid to be helped, the same way we extend a hand to those in need.
Surround yourself with people who will have your back. Keep your friends and family close. It may sound old school, but such a sense of unity and collective well-being contributes to a more compassionate society.
Be the instrument that allows kindness and goodness to prosper.
But don’t get me wrong. We should also be wary of people taking advantage of our kindness.
9. Forgive.
While forgiving simple mistakes is a piece of cake, extending forgiveness to deeper wounds and betrayals can be incredibly challenging.
But just as God says, forgive as He forgives. Not because it’s a domineering command, but it’s simply wise and for our own good.
Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. But it means freeing yourself from the control of that rage, sadness, pity, and frustration.
Forgive others, even without their apology. Forgive yourself, and start to use your experiences as lessons.
Do this out of love.
10. Choose the long game.
The most worthwhile endeavors in life often require time, dedication, and perseverance. Of course, it doesn’t happen overnight.
In a world that loves the impulse to satisfy immediate desires, a.k.a. instant gratification, choose to be different.
Enter the long game where you build foundations and grow roots, so you won’t break when strong winds come.
Success is not a destination but a journey. Choose the long game.
11. Unplug.
While social media connects our world, it deeply disconnects us from the most important things – our alone time, family bonding, and reality.
Many people nowadays are losing themselves as they try to cope with what the world tells them to do. They let social media completely rule over their paths.
This is not the way we should go.
Turn the screen off. We have to unplug from time to time. Tap into your creativity and find solace in the silence. Shh.
Drop the phone and share a meal with family, meet friends for coffee, or explore nature with loved ones.
These offline experiences cannot be replicated online. Treasure them.
We also need to rekindle our relationship with nature through outdoor adventures, hiking, or simply spending time in green spaces. Rather than hearing the consistent gossip and toxicity, lean to nature and be more grateful and in awe.
12. Identify which battles are yours.
Trying to control every aspect of our lives leads to overthinking and stress. It’s a futile attempt.
More than trying to position everything the way you want to, you must recognize that life operates on balance – things we can control and those we cannot.
By discerning when to take control and when to pause, I tell you, you become more mentally and emotionally stable and secure.
There are things we can fight for and things where we did our best but still don’t go as planned. You’ve fought well in such cases and now learn to accept the outcome.
It is a key way to find more joy in life.
13. Rest is just as important.
Rest – mentally, emotionally, and physically.
While some individuals have Spartan-like stamina, others, like myself, may be more susceptible to burnout and fatigue. That’s me. I get exhausted easily.
Honestly, I can’t keep up with hustle culture. And whenever I try, my mental bubble bursts and automatically gets shut down. Ahh, the introvert in me.
Not everyone is the same, so listen to our bodies well.
Taking breaks isn’t a sign of weakness or laziness. When used right, it helps catapult self-care and productivity. Take your body’s signals seriously.
Conclusion
These are the tips we can live by and be ultimately feel and think better. As we practice the list above, we’ll find ourselves not only better, but ultimately fulfilled and less worried about what life brings, too.
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