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How To Be a More Secure Person (10 Practices A Secure Person Does)

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Feeling secure about yourself is an incredible sensation. But what exactly does a secure person look like?

If you ask me, it’s in the word itself.

A secure person is someone who’s rarely “shaken up.” Not only physically but also mentally and emotionally.

They’re grounded, radiate a calm confidence, and may even stand out in a crowd without even trying.

They know what they want and aren’t easily swayed by others’ opinions.

And even if they don’t have everything figured out yet, they’re confident they will in time.

A secure person is comfortable in their own skin without needing to show off.

Boundaries? Oh, they’re not the type to bottle up emotions and just explode in anger. Instead, they regulate emotions well and aren’t afraid to express them.

Begging for love and attention isn’t their thing because they know their self-worth.

Would you agree with these definitions?

In my experience, the most secure people I know display such characteristics.

And if you are wondering how to be a more secure person, here are some traits and practices that can help you on that journey.

How To Be A More Secure Person


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1. You walk the talk.

Remember the saying, “Actions speak louder than words?” I used to agree with it, but now I see how actions and words go hand in hand.

A secure person understands this: actions without words can be misunderstood, and words without actions are just empty promises.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned not to overpromise but to be self-aware and honest about our capabilities.

Do not be a people-pleaser who says “yes” to everything. Or a hermit who says “no” to everything.

If you can’t do something, acknowledge your limitations. If you can, set realistic expectations without overpromising.

By walking the talk, you build integrity. As people establish trust in you, you become more secure with yourself.

2. Identify your true strengths.

After my best friend’s wedding, my high school friends and I headed to a nearby café for some much-needed catching up.

One highlight of our conversation was the idea of “slowing down” in life. After years of hustling and climbing the corporate ladder, we realized that as we approach 30, life seemed to slow down.

But looking closer, it wasn’t life pulling the brakes. It was us.

We learned to take things slow.

Why? Because after years of cries and hard work,  we now understand our capabilities better, outgrew the challenges, and our careers feel more aligned and smoother. 

These gathered experiences and self-awareness form a solid foundation for personal security.

I saw relief in their eyes. Discovering our true strengths has given us the confidence and power to easily navigate our lives.

So, if you’re feeling insecure about your status and career right now, give it some time.

Don’t be afraid of experiencing the highs and lows; something will just click in you one day.

Truly, finding your identity in your God-given strengths will help you find purpose and security.



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3. Let comparison work to your advantage.

Back then, I compared myself to others A LOT. And that’s why I always felt left behind.

Thankfully, things have improved. Ever since I found a career path that exercised my true talents, I felt stronger and more secure about my journey.

I still compare, but no longer out of insecurity. Instead, I use comparison as inspiration for self-improvement.

Healthy comparison can set benchmarks in our lives.

But as I mentioned, when we realize that every person has a distinctive gift, we start to be empowered and use that unique gift for a unique purpose.

4. Your world doesn’t revolve around your flaws.

When you’re secure in yourself, you don’t let your flaws control your life — I learned this the hard way.

When I was younger, I used to hide my insecurities. As a typical self-conscious kiddo, I didn’t like embarrassing myself and showing vulnerability to others. 

My career decisions were based on “How would I look?” and “What would they think of me?”

Rather than substance and achieving goals, I struggled with imposter syndrome and anxiety.

The past years have had a nasty way of breaking down those insecurities.

Now, as I grew more secure, I learned to laugh at my flaws and embrace my mistakes.

I no longer take them personally but use them to humble myself and learn.

Back then, stuttering in front of a crowd equated to failure. But now, how freeing it is not to even give attention to it.

I do practice to improve, but at the same time, I no longer let my insecurities hinder me from reaching my goals.

Don’t let your world revolve around your flaws. Instead, direct your attention to your strengths and nurture them.

5. Self-reflecting on the truth around you.

Sometimes, we get comfortable with flattering words because they feel good. Or maybe, we craft lies to protect our image.

I sure did, and it wasn’t pleasurable in the long run, especially when my fake stories got tangled up.

Or maybe, you’ve completely lost sight of the truth because you’re listening to the lies of the wrong crowd, which is why you always wake up anxious and afraid.

Meanwhile, a secure person understands that facing life’s truths, even if they’re ugly and painful, is way, waaay better.

It sounds cliché, but you will feel freer as you stand by the truth.

People may dislike you for this, but the time will come when the right people will find you and stay alongside you—people who appreciate your honesty and don’t condone your lies.

Is there a lie you’ve been covering up or a truth you’ve been hiding now? Guess that’s why you probably feel unsettled.

Set that free, face whatever consequences, and you’ll be set free, too.

This is where true security starts — with the truth.

6. Define what true security means.

Sometimes, we get lost in what “being secure” truly means.

I once thought I had become more mature after overcoming a difficult time, losing a loved one. I blanked out my emotions to avoid the pain.

Boy, I felt invincible and thought I managed well.

Only to realize that that sensation of “security” was actually a trauma response.

Because I had the wrong foundations, when my partner confronted me with strong emotions of love and longing, the once-passionate heart I had became emotionally detached.

I exploded out of anger too many times, proving that my actions were nothing “secure” at all. I was pretty shaken up.

So, it’s now important to know what true security is.

It’s about finding peace and love that doesn’t only reflect on yourself but is shared with others, too.

It’s the deep understanding of yourself and others, and navigating paths that leads to truth and harmony.

7. Be not controlling.

Of course, a secure person doesn’t try to control everyone (well, unless you’re a leader who needs to take control).

They may take the chance to share their strong opinions, but they’re not the type to push it down other people’s throats or be impulsively mad if things don’t go their way.

“If people don’t agree with me, I do it myself.”

“If others don’t support me, I find people who would.”

They feel secure on their own and stand up for their beliefs, all while respecting people’s choices.

8. Don’t take things personally.

A secure person doesn’t take everything personally.

No, they don’t take it as an attack, unless it’s going over their morals and boundaries.

They’re wise in handling the information they get and respond calmly instead of being rattled and agitated.

They regulate their emotions well, and when things get too dramatic, they set their paths straight by looking back to the facts and objectivity.

9. Don’t fear failures.

Failures can be daunting. However, someone secure in their capabilities understands that setbacks are part of the journey.

There may be breakthroughs or failures, but at the end of the day, the trust in themselves never falters.

Be comfortable with slow progress. A secure person doesn’t feel rushed and understands that great things take time.

10. Enhance your wardrobe.

Don’t get me wrong. A lot of secure people couldn’t careless about their wardrobe.

But if you’re like me who got this annoying insecurity and self-consciousness, I tell you, dressing well improves our self-esteem.

I used to feel insecure about my style, growing up in a family where fashion wasn’t a priority.

But once I started earning my own money, I gradually developed a comfortable, balanced style.

I won’t say I’d be a fashion guru but thankfully, my wardrobe evolved into a “not too flashy one, but not too plain, either” style.

True enough, I felt a great sense of confidence whenever I met with people.

Investing in fashion, makeup, and skincare can boost your confidence if you value your appearance.

When we feel good about how we look, it reflects in our demeanor and interactions with others.


That’s it! Here are 10 practices that helps us become more secure. I hope you gained some insights. Thanks for reading!

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