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Looking for some alone time as an introvert? Well, that’s a given. Introverts LOVE their alone time.
But what if you’re feeling like you want to be more social?
How can we, as introverts, improve our social skills and become more outgoing?
I know socializing can be a struggle, and I totally get it as an introvert myself.
But thankfully, after years of working on it, I’ve finally learned to balance my introversion and social life.
Want to know how I did it? Keep reading!
First Thing’s First, What is an Introvert?
Introversion is when you have a social battery that drains in crowds but charges in solitude.
Introverts thrive in quiet reflection, diving deep into thoughts and feelings, which energizes them.
Unlike what some believe, introverts don’t dislike people—they just savor deeper, more meaningful connections over superficial chat.
It’s not about shyness or anxiety; it’s about preference—a preference for meaningful interaction and peaceful alone time.
Introverts bring to the table the power of quiet strength, deep connections, and introspection.
In a world loud with extroversion, they remind us of the beauty in stillness and the richness of inner worlds.
Why Would An Introvert Want To Be More Social?
So you see, I’m also an introvert and for the past 4 years, I worked at home, enjoying my own company as a freelancer and online writer — no bosses or nagging workmates. I felt freedom!
While this solitude is such a blessing for me, unfortunately, I later realized the disadvantages of being alone for too long and the implications of having friends and connections.
I recognized that if I wanted to grow and go far in life, it can’t just be me, myself, and I.
So, below are some reasons why an introvert might be interested to becoming more sociable:
1. The desire for more friends or connections
Even though introverts prefer close, meaningful relationships, they could still see the perks of expanding their social circle.
It’s not about collecting acquaintances but about finding new people who share their interests and values, enriching their lives in unexpected ways.
2. Career
In many professional environments, networking and collaboration are key to success.
Introverts might want to hone their social skills to advance their careers, open new doors, or simply feel more at ease in group settings.
3. Manage their energy levels better
It might seem strange, but by feeling more comfortable in social situations, they might find ways to handle these interactions with less exhaustion. They want to be out there without feeling drained.
How To Be More Social As An Introvert (11 Tips from an Introvert)
1. Understand who you are.
Being an introvert isn’t a flaw or something you need to “fix.” It’s just a different way of experiencing the world.
Socializing can be draining, yes. But remember, there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert.
You just get EXHAUSTED with too much interaction, that’s all, and you need to find ways to manage it.
So ask yourself these questions:
- How long do my social batteries last usually? You may track your batteries when you’re in parties, work, meetups, and such.
- What situations drain my social stamina the most? Is it the people’s behaviors? The weather? Prepare yourself.
- How can I improve it?
Social stamina can be improved with practice, whether introvert or extrovert. It’s like a muscle— the more you use it, the stronger it gets.
Remember when you worked on your first day, and got drained out at the end of the day?
But after a few months, you get used to it and can even go to gym or meet with friends in the evening.
Start small by engaging in short, one-on-one conversations, and gradually build up to larger social gatherings if that feels right for you.
2. You don’t have to pretend.
It’s easy to think that to be social, you need to be the life of the party—the bubbly, extroverted person eager to approach everyone in the room.
But guess what? That’s not the case at all. Socialization doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all formula, and you definitely don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not.
Forcing to have that “golden retriever” energy will only leave you feeling drained and resentful.
Focus on being yourself, and don’t feel pressured to be overly outgoing.
In a new environment, I simply talk when I’m asked, smile at people, and speak up when I really want to say something.
Absolutely no pressure.
Staying true to yourself, you’ll find that social interactions become less exhausting and more enjoyable.
3. Practice not running away.
I admit—I had this habit of running away from people. And I’m fixing it!
Instead of ignoring everyone, I’ve started smiling at them. And you know what? It turns out I have more friends and acquaintances than I thought!
A simple smile, wave, or nod can really make a difference.
You don’t have to have a long conversation, but these small gestures can help you connect with others.
Some people might strike up a conversation, while others, especially fellow introverts, might be happy with just a quick hello.
If someone does talk to you, try not to run away. Ask yourself why you’re avoiding them.
Are they really that villainous? If not, why not take a moment to engage. You might find it’s not as scary as you thought.
4. Accept people’s invitations once in a while.
I get it—after a long week, nothing sounds better than sinking into the comfort of your bed and enjoying the peace of your own space.
But here’s the thing—now and then, it might be worth stepping out of that comfort zone and accepting an invitation from your colleagues, friends, or family.
I know you can already predict that you might end up in the corner, quietly observing while everyone else is mingling.
But if you want to be more sociable, showing up is the first step.
It’s okay if you only do this once in a while.
Your alone time is precious, but so are making healthy connections.
5. Don’t fear “awkward silence.”
Small talk can be a real pain for introverts, especially when it leads to those dreaded awkward silences.
But you know what? Awkward silence isn’t as terrible as we make it out to be.
Personally, I’ve gotten pretty good at not letting it bother me. I don’t see silence as uncomfortable; it’s just a natural part of chatting.
Sometimes, there’s simply nothing to say, and that’s okay. Instead of forcing conversation, I’d rather focus on something else or just space out.
Think of it as being purposeful with your words instead of being forcefully engaging in conversation.
6. Most people love to chat, too!
Truth is, most people really enjoy chatting, especially about their lives.
During a conversation, they’ll probably ask you something about yourself, and you can share a bit of your own story.
Usually, others will find something in your story that they relate to, and they’ll chime in with their own experiences.
Once it gets going, it just keeps flowing. And remember, if you find yourself with nothing more to add, don’t worry, silence is not that awkward, as I mentioned earlier.
You don’t have to carry the entire conversation; just listen, join in when you feel like it, and let others take the lead.
7. Join groups, don’t isolate.
When you find yourself in a new environment, retreating into your own space can be tempting, especially for an introvert.
But trust me, don’t isolate yourself. Instead, try to hang out with the group.
You don’t have to impress anyone or be the life of the party—just be open to chatting if someone talks to you. That’s often how group circles naturally form.
Don’t run away or automatically find a quiet corner to hide in.
If you realize you don’t like their behavior after spending time with the group, that’s a different issue entirely.
You’re not obliged to stick around in a situation that doesn’t sit right with you.
But the important thing is to give connecting a shot before you make that decision.
8. Social skills can be learned.
I used to be terrified of public speaking and dreaded those impromptu recitations in class.
Small talk? Nah, not my thing.
I preferred hanging back, avoiding the spotlight.
But now, it’s pretty funny how much I’ve changed. I’ve become a teacher who almost never shuts up!
While I’m still not the type to start conversations, I’m totally cool with chatting if someone comes up to me.
It wasn’t an overnight change, but it shows that you can learn and practice social skills.
Introversion isn’t a barrier to connecting with others; it just means you might need to approach social situations differently.
The only challenge I face now is that I’m so wiped out after a day of socializing that I’m in bed by 6 PM! But hey, not a bad trade-off, right?
9. Love the people around you.
I used to talk to people just to be polite, even though I couldn’t stand small talk and socializing. It felt like such a hassle. I was always self-conscious, anxious, and worried about coming off as awkward.
But here’s something I’ve learned:
When you genuinely love and care for the person in front of you, socialization becomes much easier and more natural.
Instead of pretending to be interested, you find yourself curious about their life, caring about their well-being, and eager to hear their stories.
The conversation doesn’t feel like a chore anymore; it becomes a meaningful connection.
Of course, I’m not saying you must force yourself to love everyone you meet.
Some people come off as arrogant or difficult to connect with, and if you don’t like their vibes, then don’t engage.
No rule says you have to befriend everyone.
But for those who seem open and genuine, remember that they’re just as human as you are.
Don’t get intimadated.
To truly be more sociable, try to express genuine care and interest. It might feel like a small shift, but it can make a huge difference in how you experience social interactions.
10. Drained? Just be honest about it!
Picture this: you’re at a big party, and for the first few hours, you’re loud, vibrant, and fully engaged.
But as the night wears on, you feel your energy slipping away.
By the four-hour mark, you’ve retreated to the dark corner, no longer the lively person you were at the start.
I’m that person, too.
We’re introverts, and that’s how our social battery works.
It used to make me feel so bad—I’d start the night full of energy, only to feel drained and alone.
But now, I’ve learned to be honest about it.
Instead of pushing myself to stay engaged when running on empty, I simply tell people, “I’ve reached my social limit.”
My friends and I usually share a chuckle about it, and they understand.
There’s no shame in needing to recharge.
11. Don’t overthink socialization.
It’s common among introverts to overthink social events before they even happen.
We might imagine the event as a huge success or a total disaster, picturing ourselves either thriving or being totally bored.
But here’s a piece of advice: Stop doing that. Just go.
Don’t burden yourself with high expectations about how you should perform or how others should behave.
Get out of your own head.
High expectations can ruin the fun.
Instead of picturing yourself as the star of the show or imagining how you’ll feel bored, let the experience unfold naturally.
Go with an open mind and let the moment speak for itself.
You might find that you have a great time, or at least, you’ll learn something about yourself and others.
So, don’t let overthinking steal your joy.
In Cases When Fitting In Seems Difficult…
Let’s be honest. Sometimes… we don’t fit in even after we try hard to engage.
But keep your calm.
In these cases, know that it’s not always an issue about your introversion or social skills. It can also be because you simply don’t share the same values, interests, or beliefs with others.
If their wavelengths don’t quite match yours, finding common ground is the ultimate challenge.
So, don’t be hard on yourself.
Sometimes, the best solution is to seek out environments and groups that align more with your values.
Finding your tribe, where you naturally connect with others, will make social interactions more enjoyable and less difficult.
Remember, it’s about finding the right fit, not changing who you are.
That’s it! I hope this post gave you insights on how to be more sociable as an introvert.
Thanks for reading! 🙂
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